Thank you for landing in my inbox at a moment of deep, dark, emotional pain. The insanity of humanity in this moment, all the needless suffering, ignorance, arrogance, complacency has left me exhausted and near despair as our precious 🌏🔥
I need help but don’t know where to turn. After nearly 3 decades of producing self-funded programs—communications efforts aimed at reaching and activating a preoccupied public— I am out of ability to keep paying for this work, begging people to subscribe, listen, watch, do!
With this sick and slick administration deliberately making things worse every day—and being a new grandma to a 2 year-old I love so much it hurts—I am overwhelmed by all the endless tasks needed to keep my thousands of interviews with experts going—on my own time and dime—including now attempting to raise money for the first time, try to keep all the balls in motion, keep up with all the news, articles, books, podcasts, videos of high relevance and interest, its all just too fucking much. I have hit a wall.
This “war,” the bombing of several hundred schoolgirls and teachers, and reading all the additional climate damage these war crimes are causing—over oil, again—to planet and people, its all just too much to absorb, keep up with, stay hopeful. I am drowning in deadlines to stay afloat😩
Even the links in this post are calling me but I have no time to do one more thing. I am so far behind and perpetually trying to catch up. There is no relief, end in sight, zero support for this critical work. Nobody funds educating and engaging the public, why not? But I’ve given too much and know too much to quit. Trying to decide what to do first, next, last? is just wearing me down, eating me up slowly. I can’t keep up and I can’t get up. Theres more but I’ve spilled my guts here too much already. Stuck and scared, very unlike me. The energizer bunny has hit a wall.
Oh Betsy, I’m so sorry to hear what a tough time you’re having. Totally understandable you are drained, it’s clear you’ve put more than your whole self into your important and difficult work for so long. I fully get the feeling of not being able to contemplate one more thing right now, but I am concerned by the pain you express. I hope you can allow yourself to make your wellbeing your #1 priority right now. Other balls are made of rubber, you can drop them and they will bounce or roll off harmlessly— but health is glass, if it gets dropped it can shatter and it’s irreplaceable. You say you need help. I recommend a first step to find a mental health professional who can support you. You can ask friends or your doctor for a local recommendation if you prefer in person. I have found https://www.betterhelp.com very easy to use and just get started right away with low friction. The first step is the hardest one, but please do take a step today to get the support you need. I’m rooting for you. 💚 Kim
Here in Sweden, that is a diagnosis; "Hitting the wall"
I've done it, my husband has, sometimes I feel that most thinking feeling people around me have. It's a very real thing that takes a long time to recover from. The most important thing for you right now it to STOP and prioritize your health for a while. You're not being lazy, you are not giving up, you are making sure you CAN go on, just not right now.
I moved out to the countryside and stoppad reading any and all news. I still don't. Whatever I need to know, I hear about anyway. I don't have any regular TV channels, no radio. I still get stuff done. Now, after years of self care and rest, I run an NGO and really see our hard work make a difference.
But it took YEARS before I could even let myself rest properly. I used to sit on the edge of my sofa, all day. Not leaned back, because I wasn't resting, no no no, I was just on my way to do something! But I couldn't decide where to start, because I had to do everything, it was all so very important and had to be done and noone else was doing it and if I only pushed a little bit harder and stoppad being lazy I could save the whole world by myself surely?! I had to!
But in the end I couldn't get out of bed...
Burn out. Hitting the Wall.
It does NOT help to try harder.
Please take care of yourself, so you can keep doing good in the long runt. Just maybe not right now. Not all of it at least.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience to help others, Em. Sounds like you have worked hard to take good care and are in a better place as a result. 💚
Thank you, particularly, for the section on despair. It is timely and helpful. I have avidly followed news and current affairs my whole life. For the first time now, it's starting to feel "too much," harmful to mental health and equanimity. But it feels irresponsible as a concerned global citizen to look away. The observation that pessimism doesn't exclude hope was impactful.
Thank you Norm, so glad to hear that this landed for you. I totally relate to trying to find the balance between staying informed, and being selective so that I keep up my energy to do what I can to be helpful. Wishing you well!
I am nearly done reading The Deluge. It is a bit long (no, way too long) and a few hundred more f-bombs than needed, but an excellent summary of our plight. I'm finally getting to the part where there may be some focused action rather than just protests.
I focus my energy on donating to graduate research in marine biology and marine science in general, supporting carbon sequestration research using the ocean. It makes me feel like I am helping the planet, and I know I'm helping some grad student get through a bit faster.
Thanks Tom, so nice to hear from you! Personally I loved the idea of a sweary, cargo-shorts-wearing political star, but maybe that's just me haha :). I found the ending really satisfying, hope you enjoy!
Love your climate action strategy, supporting grad students is a wonderful and overlooked way to really help!
Excellent as always, Kim. Thanks for the inspiration.
We also just added solar - a full 2nd array to go along with the battery (2020) and the original panels (2015). There are a TON of electric vehicles on the roads in the Bay Area, but many of their climate / other environmental benefits go away if the power they use isn’t from a renewable source.
Cool, congrats on the expanded solar array Dave! Great you are helping maximize California's decarbonization work, thank you!! Have been working with a colleague a bit on peatland re-wetting... all roads lead to wetlands it seems, you were right all along! :)
Hi Kim, the concept of blue hope really resonates with. So many people the world over are doing what's right and worth doing, despite future uncertainty. Thanks for the great article and please keep them coming!
Betsy, I’m almost there with you on the emotional wall. The others are right- focus on your physical and mental health for a bit. Spend extra time with your grandchild if possible. If you’re not close you can read books to them via video call.
Re: funding, where do you live, and what type of education are you leading?
Your future wellbeing is important and your post made me worry about your financial security.
Even if not specifically climate related I hope you are finding an Indivisible, or 50501 group (if in the US) to spend time with. My Indivisible group has First Friday socials at a brew pub. I’ve met a bunch of new, like-minded people. In particular some old men, Veterans… and they are so sweet and inspiring.
Hang in there.
(Kim your balls/glass analogy is wonderful, I’m going to make a note for myself and post it on my bathroom mirror.)
Thank you for landing in my inbox at a moment of deep, dark, emotional pain. The insanity of humanity in this moment, all the needless suffering, ignorance, arrogance, complacency has left me exhausted and near despair as our precious 🌏🔥
I need help but don’t know where to turn. After nearly 3 decades of producing self-funded programs—communications efforts aimed at reaching and activating a preoccupied public— I am out of ability to keep paying for this work, begging people to subscribe, listen, watch, do!
With this sick and slick administration deliberately making things worse every day—and being a new grandma to a 2 year-old I love so much it hurts—I am overwhelmed by all the endless tasks needed to keep my thousands of interviews with experts going—on my own time and dime—including now attempting to raise money for the first time, try to keep all the balls in motion, keep up with all the news, articles, books, podcasts, videos of high relevance and interest, its all just too fucking much. I have hit a wall.
This “war,” the bombing of several hundred schoolgirls and teachers, and reading all the additional climate damage these war crimes are causing—over oil, again—to planet and people, its all just too much to absorb, keep up with, stay hopeful. I am drowning in deadlines to stay afloat😩
Even the links in this post are calling me but I have no time to do one more thing. I am so far behind and perpetually trying to catch up. There is no relief, end in sight, zero support for this critical work. Nobody funds educating and engaging the public, why not? But I’ve given too much and know too much to quit. Trying to decide what to do first, next, last? is just wearing me down, eating me up slowly. I can’t keep up and I can’t get up. Theres more but I’ve spilled my guts here too much already. Stuck and scared, very unlike me. The energizer bunny has hit a wall.
—Helpless and Hopeless like Never Before.
Oh Betsy, I’m so sorry to hear what a tough time you’re having. Totally understandable you are drained, it’s clear you’ve put more than your whole self into your important and difficult work for so long. I fully get the feeling of not being able to contemplate one more thing right now, but I am concerned by the pain you express. I hope you can allow yourself to make your wellbeing your #1 priority right now. Other balls are made of rubber, you can drop them and they will bounce or roll off harmlessly— but health is glass, if it gets dropped it can shatter and it’s irreplaceable. You say you need help. I recommend a first step to find a mental health professional who can support you. You can ask friends or your doctor for a local recommendation if you prefer in person. I have found https://www.betterhelp.com very easy to use and just get started right away with low friction. The first step is the hardest one, but please do take a step today to get the support you need. I’m rooting for you. 💚 Kim
Here in Sweden, that is a diagnosis; "Hitting the wall"
I've done it, my husband has, sometimes I feel that most thinking feeling people around me have. It's a very real thing that takes a long time to recover from. The most important thing for you right now it to STOP and prioritize your health for a while. You're not being lazy, you are not giving up, you are making sure you CAN go on, just not right now.
I moved out to the countryside and stoppad reading any and all news. I still don't. Whatever I need to know, I hear about anyway. I don't have any regular TV channels, no radio. I still get stuff done. Now, after years of self care and rest, I run an NGO and really see our hard work make a difference.
But it took YEARS before I could even let myself rest properly. I used to sit on the edge of my sofa, all day. Not leaned back, because I wasn't resting, no no no, I was just on my way to do something! But I couldn't decide where to start, because I had to do everything, it was all so very important and had to be done and noone else was doing it and if I only pushed a little bit harder and stoppad being lazy I could save the whole world by myself surely?! I had to!
But in the end I couldn't get out of bed...
Burn out. Hitting the Wall.
It does NOT help to try harder.
Please take care of yourself, so you can keep doing good in the long runt. Just maybe not right now. Not all of it at least.
💚
Thanks so much for sharing your experience to help others, Em. Sounds like you have worked hard to take good care and are in a better place as a result. 💚
Thank you, particularly, for the section on despair. It is timely and helpful. I have avidly followed news and current affairs my whole life. For the first time now, it's starting to feel "too much," harmful to mental health and equanimity. But it feels irresponsible as a concerned global citizen to look away. The observation that pessimism doesn't exclude hope was impactful.
Thank you Norm, so glad to hear that this landed for you. I totally relate to trying to find the balance between staying informed, and being selective so that I keep up my energy to do what I can to be helpful. Wishing you well!
Keep up the good writing and research.
I am nearly done reading The Deluge. It is a bit long (no, way too long) and a few hundred more f-bombs than needed, but an excellent summary of our plight. I'm finally getting to the part where there may be some focused action rather than just protests.
I focus my energy on donating to graduate research in marine biology and marine science in general, supporting carbon sequestration research using the ocean. It makes me feel like I am helping the planet, and I know I'm helping some grad student get through a bit faster.
Thanks Tom, so nice to hear from you! Personally I loved the idea of a sweary, cargo-shorts-wearing political star, but maybe that's just me haha :). I found the ending really satisfying, hope you enjoy!
Love your climate action strategy, supporting grad students is a wonderful and overlooked way to really help!
Excellent as always, Kim. Thanks for the inspiration.
We also just added solar - a full 2nd array to go along with the battery (2020) and the original panels (2015). There are a TON of electric vehicles on the roads in the Bay Area, but many of their climate / other environmental benefits go away if the power they use isn’t from a renewable source.
Love seeing all the work you are doing!
- Old Dave
Cool, congrats on the expanded solar array Dave! Great you are helping maximize California's decarbonization work, thank you!! Have been working with a colleague a bit on peatland re-wetting... all roads lead to wetlands it seems, you were right all along! :)
Lots of good stuff in this post! I will be coming back to it. Thank you!
Thank you Jessica, that's so nice to hear 💚
Thank you for this! There is always a chance for change and always a reason for hope.
Thank you Donte’, it is helpful to hold onto the possibility for change when things get dark!
Thanks so much! Definitely feeling lots of despair here in the States..
I see you Cassandra, you’re in good company! 💚
Hi Kim, the concept of blue hope really resonates with. So many people the world over are doing what's right and worth doing, despite future uncertainty. Thanks for the great article and please keep them coming!
Betsy, I’m almost there with you on the emotional wall. The others are right- focus on your physical and mental health for a bit. Spend extra time with your grandchild if possible. If you’re not close you can read books to them via video call.
Re: funding, where do you live, and what type of education are you leading?
Your future wellbeing is important and your post made me worry about your financial security.
Even if not specifically climate related I hope you are finding an Indivisible, or 50501 group (if in the US) to spend time with. My Indivisible group has First Friday socials at a brew pub. I’ve met a bunch of new, like-minded people. In particular some old men, Veterans… and they are so sweet and inspiring.
Hang in there.
(Kim your balls/glass analogy is wonderful, I’m going to make a note for myself and post it on my bathroom mirror.)